Naturally, one of the first things I ask about is their goals. I want to know what they are and as importantly why. With weight loss clients I usually ask if they were ever at that desired weight and when. Frequently I find their goals especially regarding weight line up with some distant memory of their perfect self.
I myself currently weigh 141 lbs and am comfortable in a size 6. For decades my own distant memory goal was 120 which is what I weighed in High School. It wasn’t until I gave up on that impractical and unhealthy obsession that I finally began making progress in all areas of my life. The fact is my body has changed so much in 30 years that for me to weigh 120 lbs would be both unhealthy and unattractive.
My point is this: we need to change our values and goals realistically based on our stage in life. When we’re young we are looked to for our potential, but most of us don’t even know what that is and find ourselves unable to harness it completely until much later in life.
As we age though our value lies not just in our potential, but also in our experience. The knowledge and perspective we develop over the years is of immeasurable worth. It is valued by employers, trusted by our friends and family and is the key to finally figuring out and reaching that somewhat nebulous concept of “full potential”.
I’m guessing that what is usually a bit derisively referred to as a mid-life crisis is just us finally discovering we were running full speed down paths others had pointed us toward. And while we might be successful on those paths, eventually our “mature” brain kicks in to tell us there might be something truer to our own nature.
Embrace that new path and trust your mature brain. What we are now is to be loved, nurtured and appreciated for what it is, a life-time of facing the highs and lows and coming out on the other side smarter, stronger and with a few more things to offer the world…